


Lemon Tree 2

by DemonnPrincess



Category: Fullmetal Alchemist: Brotherhood & Manga
Genre: Confrontations, Flashbacks, M/M, Post-Traumatic Stress Disorder - PTSD, Rape Aftermath
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-09-26
Updated: 2020-09-26
Packaged: 2021-03-07 19:28:22
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings, Underage
Chapters: 1
Words: 13,258
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/26662954
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/DemonnPrincess/pseuds/DemonnPrincess
Summary: Ah, I don't like leaving notes. It messes up the immersiveness...but alas...I have actually had this story since 2016, but I never released it because it never felt finished enough (Like I say, I see a scenario in my head and I write what I see, but it just didn't feel finished, lol). Well, I just read through it, and I am keeping it as is and releasing it right now.Part one is from 2016 and is the second story I ever released on AO3, so that's there if you wanna go read through it before reading this.
Relationships: Edward Elric/Roy Mustang
Comments: 15
Kudos: 22





	Lemon Tree 2

**Author's Note:**

> Ah, I don't like leaving notes. It messes up the immersiveness...but alas...  
> I have actually had this story since 2016, but I never released it because it never felt finished enough (Like I say, I see a scenario in my head and I write what I see, but it just didn't feel finished, lol). Well, I just read through it, and I am keeping it as is and releasing it right now.  
> Part one is from 2016 and is the second story I ever released on AO3, so that's there if you wanna go read through it before reading this.

“Daddy, what’s this one mean?” the little toddler asked after catching her breath, tired from dragging the thick alchemy book half way across the house to Ed who was sitting on the couch having his leg tuned up by Winry. “What’s it mean?”

“I can’t see it while it’s face-down.” Ed reached down and picked the girl up, sitting her on his lap. “How did you get that off the shelf without hurting yourself?”

The little girl ignored him and turned the book over after some effort, then pointed to an empty upright triangle in the corner of the page. “This one? What’s it mean?”

“That’s the symbol for fire. If you put a line through it, then it becomes air.”

“Ooooh.” She poked at it with her fingers, then seemingly forgot about it.

“Did your brother pull that down for you?” Winry asked, annoyedly yanking Ed’s leg back into a good position after he’d unconsciously moved it.

“You could be gentler with my leg.” Ed sang in a sarcastic tone so his daughter wouldn’t pick up on his sudden irritation.

“I wouldn’t be down here to yank it if you would quit breaking it.” Winry sang back in the same tone, getting an even more irritated scowl from Ed.

“Why’s your leg metal?” their daughter asked.

Ed and Winry froze for a second and glanced at each other, then sighed.

“Daddy…was born this way.” Winry blurted out before quickly turning around to grab another tool out of the box sitting next to her and so the toddler wouldn’t see her amused face. “He’s half Xerxes robot.”

“Don’t tell her that!” Ed snapped over Winry’s laughing. “How is she gonna learn anything properly if you lie to her, even if you’re just joking? She’s three!”

“I’m just joking.” Winry turned back around but saw a surprised look on the girl’s face, as well as their son who was now standing next to the couch with his jaw dropped. “…oops.”

“See?” Ed chuckled. “You’re problem. Fix it.”

“So Daddy’s a robot?” the boy asked now.

“No. Well, now he is, sorta-“

“So how do robots have babies?” the girl asked next, patting her father on the chest. “Huh?”

“Ask your mother.” he said smugly.

“Huh?!” Winry frowned at Ed amusingly. “Just tell her that they don’t have babies.”

“I said this was _your_ problem, remember?”

“Oh my God.” Winry shook her head. “Okay, robots don’t have kids. You build them-“

“But you just said that Daddy was half Jerky Robot!” their son shouted, cutting her off.

Ed exploded with laughter. “ _Jerky_? Really, boy?”

“ _Xerxes”_ Winry corrected him while fighting back her own laughter to try to appear more serious. “And it was just a joke. Your father is human. He was born human.”

“How do humans have babies?”

“Oh my God!” Winry shouted at what their daughter asked. “Um, we uh…”

Ed choked on his laugh, grabbing his kids’ heads and turning them away for a quick second so he could mouth the words “Not it” to Winry who’s expression grew in horror.

“I’m not explaining that by myself!” She yelled. “You helped make them, _you_ tell them!”

Ed pointed to their son. “The whole time you were pregnant with him it was ‘leave me alone, I can eat what I want, you didn’t help except for ten minutes’ and now when the tough questions come up I suddenly helped equally, huh?”

“Ed!” Winry pointed at the kids like he did their son, only more frantically. “Don’t say things like that in front of them!”

“Woah!” their son yelled in excitement. “You made me in ten minutes!”

Ed gave Winry a smugly sadistic look. “Well, technically yeah.”

“How?” the daughter asked next,

Ed laughed audibly at Winry’s face.

“You’re enjoying this aren’t you?” she asked.

Ed snickered. “Yes. You should see your face.” He stuck his tongue out at her then turned to his son. “Well, I just stuck-“

“I swear on my parents’ graves I’ll disconnect and reconnect these nerves continuously until your eyes bleed.”

Ed sucked his lips inwards and yanked his leg away from his wife. “Conversation over.”

“Thought so.” She turned towards Ed, giving _him_ the smug look this time. “I’m finished anyway so you better be lucky.”

“Awe, but I wanna know!” the boy whined, grabbing onto Ed’s bicep and yanking it repeatedly. “Please? Where do babies come from? Tell me!”

“When you’re older.” Ed answered, him and Winry sighing from relief when the front door opened. “Oh thank you! Al, come start a different conversation!”

“Oooh, no.” Al shook his head, setting all but one piece of mail he had in his hand on the coffee table in the middle of the living room. “Don’t drag me into your crazy. I have nothing to do with whatever was going on a moment ago.”

“What a supportive brother.” Ed joked, setting his daughter down and watching as she dragged the alchemy book back down the hallway.

Winry started putting all of her tools back into the box. “Thank you Al. For getting the mail.”

“Oh, it’s no problem.” Al sat at the other end of the couch, gesturing for his brother to take the piece of mail he was holding.

“It’s for me?” Ed asked, taking it and noticing that it had a broken red seal on it. “Apparently you read it already?” he mumbled, pulling the contents out.

“Yes.” Al answered in a presumptuous tone while nodding. “It’s from Hawkeye, which means it’s for both of us, so I wanted to see what she wrote to us.”

Ed froze up, the letter still halfway in its envelope. “…from Hawkeye?”

“Yeah.” Al smiled. “It’s been seven years. I kinda miss everyone.”

“About what?”

“Huh?” Al asked confused.

“What was the letter about?”

“Oh. Well, Mustang has a birthday coming up, and since a lot of the soldiers we knew when we were there are free that day she wanted to throw him a party and invited us to come.”

“Mmm.” Ed stuck the letter back in the envelope and sat it back on the table, never breaking this sudden and intense blank stare into nothing.

“Oh, that _is_ right.” Winry stood with the box in her arms. “How old is he turning this year?”

“Decrepit.” Ed said blankly.

“Ed, that isn’t nice.” Al laughed. “He’s gonna be thirty-seven I believe.”

“Oh wow.” Winry disappeared into the back of the house and returned very quickly holding the three year old who somehow had gotten completely dirty in the short time she was gone. “I wish I could go visit too.”

“I’m not going.”

Winry started undressing her daughter so she can get ready to put her in the bath. “You're not going? But you have to. He probably misses you too.”

Ed frowned. “I just…I’m too busy. You have to go back to Rush Valley tomorrow and that leaves me to stay with the kids. It can’t be helped.”

“Brother.” Al laughed. “Mei stays here too you know. She can watch them.”

“M-hm.” Winry nodded in agreement. “And Mr. Garfiel actually called me this morning and said that he doesn’t need me until the day after tomorrow. So I’ll be here too. You should go have fun.”

“I said I’m not going.” Ed stood up out of impulse, trying to stay calm in front of his daughter so he wouldn’t scare her.

“Daddy what’s wrong?” she asked.

“Nothing.” He smiled down at her.

“I know Mustang annoys you or whatever, but the least you can do is go visit on his birthday.” Al picked the letter up and opened it all the way, then turned it around so Ed could see it. “It’s not just him we’ll get to see. Don’t you think they all miss you too?” He pointed to a list of people Hawkeye listed as guests she planned on inviting.

Winry let out the toddler’s pigtails next, then balled her dirty clothes up in her arms. “Mustang wasn’t annoying,” she joked, “Ed just didn’t like that he couldn’t have his way all the time around him. Anyone that told him ‘No’ was suddenly ‘annoying’.”

Ed quietly shook his head, his eyes closed now.

Winry saw him and laughed to herself. “You’re unbelievable.” She stood and walked over and gave him a lengthy but soft peck on the lips. “You’re going. Okay?”

Ed opened his eyes and smiled emptily. “Fine.” he exhaled, sitting back down.

“Good.” Winry gestured for their naked daughter to follow her then went to the back of the house again.

Ed interlocked his fingers and put his mouth against them and rested his elbows on his knees, staring quietly at the floor without blinking. “….what station is the party going to be at?”

“Eastern.” Al smiled when he didn’t get a reply. He reached over and waved a hand in front of Ed’s eyes. “Hello? Earth to Ed?”

Ed blinked rapidly a few times, then he sat up and slouched all the way into the couch.

“You’re going to have back problems if you keep sitting like that.”

“I don’t care.”

“…well anyways.” Al continued. “It’s in Eastern. We get to see our old dorm. I get to feel how uncomfortable the blankets are this time like you always complained about.”

“How long does she want everyone to stay?”

“Just overnight.” Al handed the letter he was still holding to Ed. “She wants us all to be able to catch up and stuff-“ Al paused abruptly and he put his hand on Ed’s arm. “Are you okay? You’re shaking?”

“I’m fine…it’s just been a while. I’m kinda nervous.”

“That’s a new one.” Al laughed, standing up and yanking his brother off the couch. “I want to leave within the next few hours so we can get there on time.”

“Oh man.” Ed sighed, being playfully shoved into the back of the house. “I wish I could transmute you into an impenetrable box of nothingness.”

._._._._._._._._._._.

_11 years ago_

“He is gonna be so mad at me!” Fuery shouted, scrambling to pick up the massive mess of scattered papers everywhere.

“This is why I told you to let me help you carry them!” Breda yelled next, also rushing to put all the files back in order.

Fuery took the handful of papers he’d gathered so far and started arranging them one-bye-one in their original order. “You were eating. I didn’t want any food stains to get on them.”

“I had just finished eating when I asked you-”

“Okay, whatever. My bad. Just finish helping me.” Fuery finished with his handful and sat them next to him, then grabbed another handful. “We’re being too loud too.”

“Everyone’s gone.” Breda said, grabbing another handful of papers as well.

Fuery gave up trying to put the papers in order or upright and just started arranging random handfuls of papers into one tall, neat stack like before. “It’s fourteen hundred. Why would no one be here?”

“The majority of the people working were given the day off here and were sent to Central for the day. Apparently things got too busy there and they needed the extra hands.”

“Oh.” Fuery gathered the gigantic stack he put together and stood up, his glasses a little crooked.

“You are going to be in so much trouble tomorrow.” Breda laughed, taking half of the papers and situating them under his arms before continuing down the hall with Fuery.

“Well, once I get all these in the office I can sit down and fix them the way they’re supposed to be. It’s too hard trying to do it in the middle of the hallway.”

“When you’re finished you wanna go get something to eat?”

Fuery glanced over at Breda, amused. “You _just_ finished eating.”

“Not just me!” Breda yelled. “I think Havoc wants to go too. He’s at Central with everybody else but he might get finished early.”

“Okay then.” Fuery stopped right outside of Mustang’s office and waited for Breda to open it for him. “Sorry, I’d get it myself but my hands are full.”

“It’s fine. We just better hope it’s actually open or these papers are staying right here until the morning.” Breda made sure the papers weren’t going to fall again, then he walked up to the door next and tried the handle. “Yup, thank goodness.” he said as he pushed the door open.

Fuery went to walk in but froze at the doorstep. “What the-”

Mustang, who had a struggling Ed pinned face-first into the desk by the back of his neck and shoulder as the boy kicked audibly with his dangling legs at the desk’s wood, suddenly released him at the sound of the door and turned around to face Fuery and Breda.

Ed pushed away from Mustang and darted to the side of the room, standing there with his face turned away from everybody while casually buckling his loose belt. His red coat and black jacket were beneath Mustang’s military jacket on top of the desks in the middle of the room, and he was only wearing his dark-blue tank top, his black pants and his boots.

“What are you guys doing?” Fuery asked after laughing for a second, coming in and setting the papers down by Ed’s and Mustang’s jackets.

“The wires to Ed’s automail shoulder and knee disconnected a little so I was helping him reconnect them which can be painful.” Mustang wiped his forehead with his sleeve then walked over and grabbed the paper on top of the stack. “This is page 67. Why is it at the top?”

Fuery scratched the back of his head. “Well, I-”

“He dropped all the papers.” Breda blurted out on purpose.

Fuery turned and made a face at Breda who was silently teasing him in a friendly manner, then ran to the other side of the papers to put them into smaller stacks. “It was an accident. I was planning on putting them back in order once I made it to your office. Didn’t think you were here today.”

“That’s fine.” Mustang sat the paper down and started discussing what all the files had in them and what he wanted Fuery to do the with them the next day.

Breda chuckled to himself again at Fuery, then turned his focus on Ed, who was still standing off to the side, quietly staring at a blank area on the floor, his eyes hidden by the front of his hair. Even though the left side of Ed’s body was facing away from him, he still noticed a sort of reddish wound on the back of Ed’s left arm.

“Hey, Edward.” he called, walking over to the twelve-year-old - but not too close - to get a better look at the red mark and noticing immediately that his epidermis was injured as well. “Did you burn yourself?”

“Leave me alone.”

“Cranky today, huh?” Breda asked jokingly before honoring the boy’s wishes and walking away. “Make sure you get that checked.”

Ed reached over with his automail hand and grabbed his other arm around the burn to hide it, still staring at the floor.

“Take these.” Mustang tapped a stack of about thirty papers on the top of the desk to make sure they were neat, then he handed them to Fuery. “These ones aren’t even finished yet.”

“Oh, I’m sorry.” Fuery took the papers then called over to Ed. “We’re going to go get something to eat if you wanna come Ed. I’ll pay.”

Ed showed no signs of anyone even acknowledging him; he just continued to stand there frozen.

“He’s a little moody today, plus he has to study some more for the exam.” Mustang scooted the rest of the papers into the center of the desks.

“Oh. Okay, then we’ll just go together next time.” Fuery turned and went back out into the hall, followed by Breda who was still focused on Ed.

“You sure he’s okay Colonel?” Breda asked quietly once he got out the door.

“He’s fine.” Mustang nodded reassuringly. “You two make sure you finish those files and have them back in my office by the morning.”

Breda quickly glanced past Mustang and caught Ed peering through his bangs at them in the doorway for a split second before turning away again. He nodded, looking back at Mustang and acting relieved. “Okay, I will.”

“Okay.” Mustang nodded then closed the door.

“Where do you want to go eat?” Fuery asked afterwards, turning to go back down the hall. “I really have a taste for something spicy.”

“Nah, you can keep your spicy food.” Breda said with a loud voice, purposely making footstep sounds on the floor as he walked away from Mustang’s door with Fuery for about then seconds, then suddenly he turned back around without warning and hurried back to the door.

“Did you forget something?” Fuery asked but was shushed by Breda.

Breda quietly and softly tried the handle. “…it’s locked.”

“And?” Fuery asked. “Come on, all this talk about food is making me more and more eager to eat.”

“Yeah.” Breda shook his head and sighed to himself for his silly assumptions, then smiled and caught back up with Fuery. “Actually, on second thought I think I do want something spicy.”

._._._._._._._._._._.

“I have no idea what I should get him as a gift.” Al sat across from Ed with a magazine inches from his face. “He never really had an interest in anything that I knew about.”

Ed sighed. He sat with his elbow resting in the window seal and his head leaning on his fist, staring out of the window at the scenery and listening to the repeating thump of the train going over the tracks.

“Maybe I’ll wait and ask Hawkeye and everyone once we get there. What do you think?”

“……maybe buy him food.”

“Oh yeah!” Al slapped the magazine shut and sat it in the seat next to him. “I can buy a cake, or a drink since this time I’m old enough to get it for him.”

Ed nodded to acknowledge that he heard his brother.

Al sighed and pulled at Ed’s elbow, making his head fall off of his fist.

“Hey!” Ed kicked Al in the shin and then put his elbow back. “Stoppit.”

“Sibling rivalry!” a random child across from them yelled.

Ed smiled at the child for a brief second before going back to staring out of the window.

“Can you at least _try_ to be nice to Mustang when we get there? We haven’t seen anyone in so long and the last thing I want them to remember about us after such a long time is how you still act like a child.”

“I’m not acting like a child!” Ed snapped. He frowned when Al shushed him and pointed down the walkway towards the sounds of a little girl throwing a tantrum which sounded a lot like Ed’s outburst. “I’m not acting like a child.” he repeated more quietly, his cheeks growing hot.

“But you are.” Al rubbed his shin. “I mean, what has he ever done to you besides inform you about becoming a State Alchemist, providing you with a way to search for a way to get our bodies back which we succeeded in-”

“Yeah you’re right. I apologize, I should be kissing his ass like everyone else.”

“That’s not what I’m saying.” Al sighed. “Brother, is it so hard to just not be a jerk to him for one day? If not for him then for Hawkeye. She really wants this otherwise she wouldn’t have gone through the trouble of gathering everybody up like this.”

“I know.” Ed took his elbow off the window seal and grabbed onto it instead. “I know…I’m sorry. I’ll just-”

“Can you believe this?”

Ed stopped talking to eavesdrop on two men seated in the seats behind him.

“What?” One of them asked.

Ed heard the first guy rustled some papers around. “This newspaper article. A few days ago in Giske, this father was arrested for sexually abusing his son and daughter.”

“Oh my.” the second guy exclaimed. “That’s terrible. You don’t hear about that often thank goodness.”

“No it’s not that…that is an awful thing, but the boy was nineteen and the girl was seventeen once they finally decided to tell someone. It said that the abuse started when they were nine and seven. I mean, if it was really all that bad then why didn’t they say something much sooner? Like the first time?”

“Oh I see.” The second guy cleared his throat. “I don’t get people like that. If you don’t like something then say it. If you don’t then it’s almost like you’re asking for it to continue-” his sentence was cut short by a loud _snap_ that startled every passenger on the car.

“Brother!” Al yelled, pointing to his brothers hand.

Ed’s head was hung so that his true expression couldn’t be seen, but his teeth were clenched together, and in a deep-rooted and angry unconsciousness he’d somehow managed to rip part of the window’s seal completely off of the side of the train car, along with part of the wall.

“Sir, are you okay?” A female train attendant rushed over to see what the matter was amidst all the commotion.

“Yes, we’re very sorry.” Al said, reaching over and prying the large piece of hard material from Ed. “You’re causing a scene. And that’s going to be expensive to pay back.”

“You two.” Ed growled when the two men got up from their seats and walked around to see if they can be of any assistance. “People like you make me sick.”

“We’re…sorry?” the second guy felt threatened once Ed looked over at them and revealed his face expression, and he went back to his seat.

“Oh you mean about what’s in the paper?” the first guy asked. “I didn’t mean to upset anybody with my opinion-”

“You have no idea what their exact circumstances were. And even if you did...”

“…yeah, you’re right.” The guy, despite being afraid of being attacked, rubbed a hand on Ed’s shoulder. “I apologize. You’re right actually.” he said some more before going to sit back down.

“The nerve of that guy.” Ed mumbled next.

“Um, sir.” the attendant point to Ed’s hand that was now profusely bleeding. “You cut it on the window seal. We have first aid.”

“…yes, thank you.” Ed balled his fist to apply pressure, then hung his head again when the attendant ran to go get some bandages. “Alphonse…everyone’s staring aren’t they?”

“Yes.” Al answered in a tone that said that that should have been obvious. “You just tore a piece of the train off with super-human strength.”

“Oh great.”

Al sighed and patted his older brother on the side of the head. “What was that? You got so angry.”

“It’s just wrong to think like that.”

“I agree. I was getting upset to. But you took it at an entirely new depth, beyond personal.”

“……what if those two kids were able to hear what they said? Those are actual humans with real feelings they were talking about. You can’t just…”

Al grabbed Ed’s wrist and dabbed his dripping fist with his handkerchief. “It’s this trip isn’t it? Still nervous about seeing everyone?”

“………..yes.”

“Like I said, just be nice okay?” Al started to laugh a bit. “I can’t believe you’re this nervous. You literally tore a train.”

“Sorry, Al.”

“It’s okay.” Al looked out the window. “Look, we’re almost there. I’m gonna go to that bakery you used to always go to once we say hi to everyone to get Mustang’s gift. You have one for him too, right?”

“Yeah.”

“Is it appropriate this time?”

“Yes, Mother.” Ed answered more sarcastically. “Don’t bring that up.”

“Just checking.” Al pulled Ed’s wrist over to the attendant who’d returned with a nurse who was also a passenger so they could patch up his hand.

._._._._._._._._._._.

“Alphonse!”

“Huh?” Al looked around among all of the people for the voice. “I can’t tell who’s calling me.”

“Alphonse!” the voice came again, and a second later Fuery popped out from behind a few people. “Hey!”

“Oh, Fuery!” Al said excitedly, shaking his hand. “It’s been so long!”

“I know, huh?” Fuery laughed.

“…ahem.”

Fuery patted Ed on the arm next. “I’m just teasing you.” he joked. “How’ve you guys been?”

“We’ve been good.” Ed smiled weakly. “Yeah I missed you guys.”

“We did too.” Fuery grabbed Ed’s left upper arm. “Yep, Flesh. Just checking.”

“Stop being silly. That’s the wrong arm anyways.” Ed pulled his arm away playfully. “You haven’t changed.”

“Neither have you.” Fuery said back, looking down and noticing the bandages on Ed’s hand now. “What the heck happened? That looks fresh.”

“I had an accident.” Ed stuck his hand in his pocket. “It’s fine. The nurse on the train said I should probably go see a doctor but I don’t feel like it.”

“The train?” Fuery scrunched his face at Ed, then turned to Al when the confusion got to be too much.

“Oh, I bought this as a gift for Mustang.” Al held up a white cake with strawberries. “I guess he can just eat it instead of waiting to open it.”

“Oh.” Fuery eyeballed the cake. “I’m eating it too.”

“Mustang first.” Al teased, his eyes lighting up even more when he saw another familiar face. “Hey, look. It’s Havoc and Breda.”

“Long time no see.” Havoc smiled, walking up to them proudly.

“How are your legs doing?” Ed asked.

“They’re not 100% but it’s better than being in a wheelchair.” he turned and smiled at Al. “You look healthy. Nice to see you as not armor.”

“Thank you.” Al laughed.

Breda held out his hand so Ed could shake it, “You been doing okay?” Breda asked.

“Yeah.” Ed said. “I have two kids now. A boy and a girl.”

“Wow!” Havoc shouted. “I didn’t even think you knew how.”

“Me neither,” Fuery added.

“Fuery, I still don’t think _you_ know how.” Ed joked back.

“Hey, I’ve had girlfriends too, not just Havoc!” Fuery turned away while twirling his fingers. “I’ve had a lot.”

“Sure.” Ed laughed, noticing that Breda was staring at him. “…is something wrong?”

“No, sorry.” Breda smiled. “You’re okay here?”

“Yeah.” Ed lied with a cracked voice. “I’m okay. Why wouldn’t I be?”

Breda snickered and nodded, then shook his head. “Okay. I’m staying overnight too, so that you know.”

“Thank you?” Ed gave an amused look. “I’m not understanding what’s going on.”

Breda laughed and nodded again. “Just ignore me. I’m a little drunk.”

“Hey.” Havoc pointed to Al’s hands. “Is that cake for the party?”

“Yes but it’s supposed to double as Mustang’s gift.”

“Oh yeah.” Fuery butted in. “That’s what I meant to say. He’s right over there if you want to go take it to him. He’s kinda just opening whatever present he gets as soon as you hand it to him anyways.”

“Thank you.” Al smiled. He turned and gestured for Ed to follow him, feeling a strong sense of reluctance coming from him.

“Just give me a second.” Ed mumbled.

Breda patted Ed on the back. “Are you sure you’re okay?”

“You forget to get him a present like always?” Havoc joked.

Ed pulled a white envelope out of his jacket pocket. “No, it’s not that.” he exhaled, then he turned and started following Al, feeling a numbing, tingling sensation all over his body and feeling his palms start to become sweaty. He could feel himself becoming nauseous and dizzy. He started randomly picking items around the room one-by-one and breaking them down molecularly in his head to try and distract his mind to stay calm. He could feel phantom hands breaking through his concentration and grabbing at him, trying to render him motionless. He stopped walking for a second and grabbed his arms to try and pull himself out of it.

“Oh hey, there’s Hawkeye. She’s there with Mustang.” Al said to Ed who halfway didn’t hear him.

“Y-yeah.” Ed raised his head and kept going. He spotted Hawkeye who was seated at a table in the middle of the room and very excited to see the both of them. She waved to him and Al until they got all the way over to them. Mustang was standing next to Hawkeye with a cup in his hands, his back turned to the table instead of sitting at it, having a conversation with a few more male officers. He nodded to himself as a way to persuade himself to keep going. _*Okay…*_

“Hello.” Al said, setting the cake down on the table and going over to give Hawkeye a hug.

“I missed you guys.” Hawkeye sighed. “Thank you for coming.”

“See?” Al gestured for Ed to say something.

“…Hi. Long time no see.”

“Hi Ed.” Hawkeye leaned over and gave Ed a hug too, then turned and tapped Mustang on the arm.

Mustang turned and smiled at Al, then turned more and had a slight look of surprise at Ed who was standing there as well.

Ed stood there with Mustang’s pupils burning into his. For a split second an image of Mustang’s face, the one with the light from a flash of lightning from that thunder storm illuminating it that had been buried in Ed’s subconscious, popped into existence, forcing him to lock up completely.

Mustang’s eyes narrowed; the rest of his face kept its soft expression. “I didn’t expect you to come.” he said, then smiled. “It’s been a while hasn’t it?”

Ed forced himself out of his trance and nodded in agreement. “…….it has.”

Al bumped Ed playfully. “Excuse him, he’s just all nervous because it’s been a while since he’s seen any of you.”

“That’s okay.” Hawkeye got a knife off of the table and opened Al’s cake to start cutting it into slices.

“Oh.” Al tapped Ed on the shoulder, noticing that he was shaking again. “Your present. Give it to Mustang.”

Ed clutched the envelope a little tighter.

_*…Ed.*_ he heard echoing in his head. He closed his eyes and shook his head to try and make it go away. _*What is this?*_ …

“…Ed, what is that!”

The fourteen-year old smirked slyly at the colonel who clutch the open box in his hand so tight it was bending it. “Happy Birthday Mustang.” he sang sarcastically over all the other people at the party.

A soldier who was also at the party ran up to Ed and yanked him by his upper arm like a child on punishment. “What is that!” he repeated.

“I hope you like it.” Ed hissed next, watching as Mustang pulled the blue pair of boxers out of the box and sounded out in horror like everyone else in the room did at the giant, old blood-soaked stain in the back of them. "I know you guys always joke about how I 'haven't grown' and all, but those are from when I was eleven so they don’t do me any good anymore. Too small."

Mustang threw the boxers and the box on the ground. “Ed what _is_ this!” he yelled angrily.

“Don’t you like it?” Ed struggled with the soldier who still had him by his arm. Another soldier ran up and grabbed his other arm to restrain him even more. “You said you liked them so I thought I’d give them to you.”

“Ed!” Falman ran up, kicking the boxers out of the way. “What is wrong with you! That’s not funny! He saw a lot of blood during the Ishvalan war.”

“Go ahead.” Ed undertoned to Mustang who just stared back at him with hidden rage. “Punish me like you always do. So they can see what this is _really_ about.”

“Ed stop it!” Breda yelled next, rushing up and grabbing his jaw. “The joke isn’t funny anymore!”

“I think he’s lost his mind.” One of the soldiers holding him said.

“Go on and punish me like you always do.” Ed tried yanking free of the men who were now trying to pull him out of the party, causing his voice to jump around. “There’s a table right over there. I think it’s sturdy enough.”

“Ed, stop!” Breda yelled over his quiet and eerily calm voice.

“Consider it your second birthday gift. Do it so everyone can see how good of a role model you are. Or better yet, send me to prison. And you can go ahead and take Al.”

“Ed.” Keith ran up next, gently grabbing the boy by his face. “You know that I was originally a military nurse from the psych part of the hospital before I became a State Alchemist. Listen, you need to stop, okay? Because if you don’t they are going to take you and they are going to put you there because you are acting very ‘loony’ right now.”

“Why won’t you do anything!” Ed screamed past Keith at Mustang who was still frozen with anger, making Keith flinch. “Show them all what you do to me! DO IT!”

“Okay, let’s take him out of here so he can calm down.” the other soldier holding one of his arms said, and moments later the two of them were dragging him backwards kicking and screaming.

“Let me go!” he shouted, scrolling his eyes back to Mustang’s. “He has to punish me!” he sang in another loud and sarcastic, angry tone. “I deserve it!”

Breda and Falman ran up and grabbed ahold of Ed’s right and left legs respectively and assisted with carrying him out into the hallway, everyone in the party frozen in disbelief.

Mustang picked the boxers up and tossed them in a trashcan that was near him, then lit them on fire and burned them away completely, still being able to hear Ed even after the exit doors closed.

“Let me go!” Ed screamed in a more panicked tone once they were out of the party. “Let me go!”

“Okay, you know?” Breda dropped his leg and snatched him by his chin again. “Let him go.” he ordered the other soldiers who did just what he said. “You are so rotten.”

“No I’m not.” Ed bellowed. “It’s him! It’s always been him!”

Keith put his hands up. “Breda be careful, he outranks you by three ranks.”

“Look, I know you don’t like the colonel sometimes because he gets on your case and catches you whenever you’re trying to be sneaky but you aren’t the only one in this military serving under someone who’s strict and you sure aren’t the only one who doesn’t like to be told what to do!”

“That isn’t it at all!” Ed yelled back, pulling away from Breda.

Breda grabbed both of Ed’s shoulders with his hands and pulled him back, making him panic more. “No, you’re going to listen to me!”

“No!” Ed started trying to pry Breda’s hands off of him. “Don’t touch me!”

“Cut the mental instability crap Ed!”

Ed froze up at that statement, Breda’s words as well as everyone else’s agreement with those words cut _deep_. He let his arms fall down to his sides, letting his head hang.

“I don’t care how much you outrank me! You’re still a kid and you’re not going to use that to try and get out of this this time!” He and a few people behind him watched as tears welled up in Ed’s eyes, and watched as he blinked to absorb them back before anyone else had the opportunity to see them. “Mustang has done nothing but look after you and offered you a chance to become a State Alchemist when you and your brother had absolutely nothing! You might be in the military but you are still a child acting like a toddler! And as your superior as well as your elder the least you could do to show respect is by obeying him when he gives you commands and treating the man with respect for God’s sake! What do you think your mother would say if she could see the way you’re acting towards your elders!”

Ed sucked in through his teeth, his bottom lip quivering.

“You _will_ apologize to him, to his face, in his office, once the party’s over.”

Ed stood there limp, his soul being bruised even more every time someone around them agreed out loud with everything Breda was saying to him. Then he laughed weakly. "So that's just it.” he paused while Breda released him, then he hung his head even more. “I'm the kid so I'm supposed to just blindly follow whatever the adult says. Even if he's wrong. There's no exception to this rule...the child never matters." Ed turned and started walking towards Mustang’s office, completely void of any feelings and being completely numb on the inside, any tiny fragments of his old self that could have still existed having now been evaporated.

“Even if _he’s_ wrong?” Breda repeated the fourteen-year-old’s words with a slightly different nuance, tilting his head.

“Ed…” Keith ran up to him but he was brushed away seconds later. “I-I’m sure Mustang will forgive you if you just apologize, okay? Just make sure you do it.”

Ed ignored him and kept walking, being followed by the crowd of people who were making sure he wouldn’t lose his cool again. When he got to Mustang’s door he quietly pulled it open and slipped in, closing it behind him. He walked to the middle of the room and pulled his coat and jacket off while staring at Mustang’s desk, then flung them in a random direction away from him and trudged up to the front of the desk. He put both of his palms on top of each of the dents, then he frowned, balled his fists and punched hard at one of them with his flesh fist.

“Dammit!” he cried out, out of pure frustration _*I can’t get out of this…*_ He punched the top of the desk a second and a third time. _*I can’t get out of this!*_ His knees started to feel weak and he dropped down onto them in front of the desk. He heard the door open and close, heard a swift stride of boots walking purposefully. A moment later he heard rummaging around in a bookshelf off to the side of the room, then was started by a pair of the white gloves that dropped onto the desk and a cloth gag that was suddenly pulled around his face.

"You said I should punish you?" Mustang sneered quietly, tying the gag very tight and then yanking Ed up off his knees by the back of it and snatching the entire belt out of the boy's pants. "For every whine, no matter how slight, this gag gets pulled tighter."

_*I can’t get out of this…*_

“…..Ed?” Alphonse tapped his brother again, breaking him out of his convulsive trance. “Stand up. What are you doing?”

Ed looked around, realizing that he’d crouched down in front of Mustang and Hawkeye with his present still in his hands. “Sorry.” He slowly stood back up and looked up at Mustang, a very subtle, smugly amused expression on the general’s face now. He extended his present to Mustang and forced a smile after taking a deep breath. “Happy Birthday.”

Mustang took the envelope and opened it, pulling out two tickets.

“They were originally for me and Win. We were gonna go see this play that happens in about a month, but she’s gonna be too busy that day with work so they’ll be trashed unless someone else uses them.”

“That’s very kind of you.” Mustang reached over and put a hand on Ed’s head, much to Ed’s disdain. “Thank you. I’ll take Riza.”

“I’m glad you like it.” Ed exhaled emptily, turning and walking to go get something to eat.

“He’s nervous.” Al repeated.

“No, I understand.” Mustang put the tickets back in the envelope and Hawkeye took it and put it in her bag, probably so they wouldn’t get wrinkled. “He hasn’t changed much.”

“Not one bit.” Al pulled his wallet out and opened it to show Mustang and Riza. “Look how big his kids are getting.”

“They’re so adorable.” Riza took Al’s wallet so she can look at the pictures more closely. “What a proud uncle you are.”

“You’re turning into Hughes.” Mustang joked, taking the wallet next to look at them.

“I know,” Al chuckled and scratched the back of his head. “I can’t help it. They’re precious.”

Mustang glanced over in Ed’s direction and then back at the picture. “His son looks exactly like him.”

“I know.” Riza agreed. “He makes cute babies.”

“Yes. I’m so glad.” Al looked over at Ed next, smiling and watching him try to pour himself and Fuery a cup of juice with a ladle, then losing his smile when Ed accidentally bumbled into the juice bowl and sent it careening onto the floor where it shattered. “His daughter was the one who inherited his clumsiness unfortunately.” he sighed, putting his wallet away and running over to his brother, who was now nervously laughing while pointing at the mess, to help clean it up.

“We basically watched them grow up.” Riza said, entertained by the fact that Al was now scolding Ed for being clumsy. “They grew up well.”

Mustang nodded, watching the brothers as well. “They did.”

._._._._._._._._._._.

“This is crazy!” Ed kicked the door closed with the back of his feet, pulling his vest off and then peeling his white button-up shirt off his back and over his head. “It’s so sticky!”

Al fell back onto his bed laughing. “That’s what you get for falling in the mess you already created. You are way too clumsy.”

“Shut up.” Ed pulled his belt out of its loops and kicked his pants off.

“And you continued to wear them through the entire party. That’s gross.”

“It wasn’t intentional. I didn’t bring enough clothes for accidents.”

“ _Accidents_.” Al shook his head and then turned and pulled the curtain over to the side a bit so he could see outside. “It always looked so pretty at night here with all the lights.” He closed his eyes and pressed his forehead against the cold glass. “It feels so good. I couldn’t do this the last time we were here.”

“Yeah because the spike on your head would’ve pierced through and shattered the entire window.”

“I’m being serious.” Al sighed. “That’s so mean.”

“I’m just joking.” Ed folded up his sticky clothes and sat them on the floor by the foot of his bed, then pulled a temporary pair of clothes out of his briefcase and started slipping them on.

“Yeah.” Al turned around and then frowned uncomfortably. “Just because we’re brothers doesn’t mean I enjoy seeing you naked.”

“Get over it, you’re the one that insisted we share this room together. And you always waited for me in the shower room.” Ed grabbed a towel out of the drawer in between his and Al’s beds, then headed back out the door barefoot. “…can you come with me, since you usually do?”

“Of course. I hate just sitting here while you take forever in the shower anyways.” Al slid off the bed and followed Ed back into the hall. “You’re a grown man though. I don’t see why you need me in there.”

“Go back then.”

“No, I’ll come.” Al patted Ed on the head. “I was only joking.”

Ed nodded to acknowledge that he understood.

They both walked in silence for the next minute. Al occasionally looked over at Ed who was staring at the floor as they walked, discretely looking up at the end of each hall they turned down as if expecting someone to come around them, then back down at the floor.

“I didn’t see Sheska tonight. She was on the list.” Al broke the silence after another minute.

“I think Falman said that she couldn’t come. Her mom’s been sicker than usual lately.”

“That’s so sad.” Al rubbed his chin. “I didn’t see Keith either. He was nice. I kinda wanted to see him again too.”

“I think he ended up being too busy too.” Ed turned the knob to the shower room, open the door, and stepped in, going over to the benches and grabbing a bucket to start putting his clothes in.

Al sat down on benches instead of the floor like he always used to. “Maybe once we’re finished here we could visit Seshka and bring her mom some flowers. Then we can see Keith too.”

“M-hm.” Ed folded his clothes and sat them in the bucket, then stepped in one of the showers and turned the water on. “Cold!” he shouted, slapping the door open and jumping back out.

Al fell over laughing at him. “How many times are you going to make that mistake?!”

“You didn’t remind me on purpose!” Ed yelled, sticking his hand in the shower to test it, then walking back in once the water warmed up some.

“It’s not my job to warn you about the dangers of slightly cool showers.”

“That wasn’t _slightly_ cool.” he sighed. “When it happens suddenly like that it burns on the inside of my automail.”

“Oh.” Al sat back down on the benches. “That _is_ right. I forgot about that.”

Ed let the water run down his body, the sounds it made when it hit the shower floor sounding a lot like the thunderstorm from that night, the rain hitting the sidewalk continuously. He shook his head to try and make it go away, but it didn’t work.

“What kind of flowers should we get Seshka’s mom?”

“Roses, like nomal?” Ed said after a long pause, crouching down behind the shower stall.

_*Edward*_

“Brother?” Al went over to the stall and peaked in. “Are you okay?”

“I’m fine.” he lied. “I just-”

“Edward.” he heard very audibly this time rather than in his mind.

“I can’t take this.” he mumbled and closed his eyes, trying to drown out the thunder that was booming within his mind……

“……Edward.” Tucker blurted out over the crash of thunder while standing with his front door cracked so that none of the rain would come in. “It’s almost four in the morning? Where were you? Everyone who works at the station thought you’d come home already.”

The eleven-year-old pushed his way into the house, his footprints sounding soggy as he trudged up the stairs dripping wet, the hood on his red jacket hiding his head, the boy continuously making tiny “hic” sounds every few seconds.

“Are you crying?” Tucker asked next. He closed and locked his door, then went to go get a towel to wipe up all of the water Ed was leaving behind. “Answer me. Why are you coming in my house so late?”

When Ed got to the last step he felt a sharp pain and doubled over, making his crying more audible for a short moment.

“Brother!” Al ran out of their room upon hearing him and helped him off the stairs. “We were worried about you! Where did you go?!”

Ed pushed Al out of the way with his forearm and made his way to the bathroom where he started pulling all of his soaked clothes off and letting them plop on the floor, still making the “hic” sounds, his teeth visible now thanks to his scrunched face expression, his eyes closed.

“Brother.” Al went in and put a light on, then started picking up all of Ed’s clothes as he was dropping them, even his hair tie that he tossed after he pulled his braid out. “We can’t just leave our mess everywhere like this. It’s disrespectful.” He heard a faint drip on the floor next and looked over to see a small drop of blood on the floor in between Ed’s feet now. “Hey, you’re bleeding!”

Ed looked down and growled with panic and embarrassment, shoving Alphonse out of the bathroom and slamming the door closed, hitting Al’s chest plate in the process.

“Ed!” Tucker called from the stairs, still cleaning up water. “Nina is sleeping!”

Ed banged the side of his metal fist on the door once as a way of defying Tucker, then he fell on his knees and brought his arms to his chest and starting hic’ing even louder.

“What’s wrong?” Al said quietly against the door. “Let me in. What happened? Why are you bleeding?”

“He’s bleeding?” Tucker came up to the door with a second dry towel. “Did he get into a fight?”

“I don’t know.” Al tried to open the door but it was locked. “Open the door please. You’re scaring us.”

Tucker reached up on top of the door frame and pulled a knob key down, then casually inserted it into the knob and unlocked the door.

“Ah.” Al turned the handle and forcefully pushed the door open, pinning Ed behind it who was trying to keep it closed. He, and Tucker, saw that there was more blood by the door where Ed had been kneeling. “Brother.” He let go of the door and it went flying into Tucker because of the force Ed was using to push against it, but Tucker caught it before it could hit him too hard.

Ed, completely naked, turned towards the wall, bringing his arms back to his chest.

Tucker opened the towel and covered Ed with it, then started rubbing the top part of it on his head to help dry his hair, noticing that Ed would jerk away a bit whenever he rubbed over the top of his head.

“Mr. Tucker.” Al used his foot to get Ed’s wet shirt and slide it over the blood to wipe it up. “Should we take him to the hospital?”

“…does he have other clothes he can sleep in until I can wash his wet ones?”

“Yeah but, the hospital-”

“Go ahead and bring them so he can go to bed.”

“…okay.” Al hurried as quietly as possible to go do what Tucker asked.

Once Al was gone Tucker uncovered Ed’s head and noticed he was hanging it, his hair mostly hanging in front of his shoulders. “……you can tell-”

Ed slapped the palm of his metal hand on the wall this time, getting Tucker to stop his sentence completely.

“Here.” Al returned very shortly after with another pair of Ed’s boxers and a white tank-top and dropped them over into his lap. “Put these on.”

Ed got dressed without saying anything, then stood up and walked out, leaving Al, Tucker and his soaking wet clothes in the bathroom.

“I’m sorry.” Al started picking Ed’s clothes up again but Tucker gestured for him to sop.

“It’s fine, I’ll get them later.” Tucker peaked out to make sure Ed went into his and Al’s room like he was supposed to. “Just go make sure he falls asleep.”

“Okay.” Al nodded and then went into their bedroom next, seeing Ed already in bed with the sheet pulled all the way up to the top of his ears. “Brother?”

A crack of thunder sounded at the same time a bolt of lightning flashed and Ed jerked his entire body from being startled, then calmly put his hands over his ears and pulled his knees to his chest a few seconds later.

“…I was praised today for how hard I’d been studying…”

Al sighed with a bit of relief that his brother finally said _something_ even though it was quiet and raspy and in between hics. “That’s a first from him.” he joked back subtly, reaching underneath the bed and pulling out a folded blanket, unfolding it and pulling it up over Ed, on top of the sheet. Then went over to his bed and lied down on his back, listening through the storm at his brother’s hics as they progressively slowed down throughout the night and eventually stopped…

“…Hey.”

Ed felt a splash of cold water on his face and he jolted out of his mind and turned around to see Al standing there with a cup.

“I asked if you were okay?”

“I’m fine.” Ed reached up and turned the water off. “I just need to get out of this building.”

“Is it really that bad?” Al walked away and returned with Ed’s towel. “Just try to stick it out.”

“I want to leave _now_. If I have to stay one more minute-”

“No trains are leaving at this hour. We leave tomorrow afternoon anyways. That’s less than twenty-four hours.”

“You don’t understand.”

Al frowned. “What don’t I understand? What’s wrong?”

Ed looked up at Al, then away. “…it’s nothing. It just feels weird being here. I was only here so we could return our bodies to normal, so it’s just kinda strange being back.”

“I know.” Al sighed. “This is for Hawkeye though. Just try to stick it out until tomorrow, okay? For her.”

Ed nodded. “Yeah, okay.”

._._._._._._._._._._.

_9 years ago_

“Maybe you were a little too hard on him.” Keith said after Ed closed the door to Mustang’s office.

“No I wasn’t.” Breda hurried over and cracked the door to watch in secret for a moment, making sure Ed wouldn’t do anything rash like destroy Mustang’s office. He saw when Ed removed his trench coat and jacket and threw them across the room then went and stood in front of Mustang’s desk. “The world isn’t all careful like that so I shouldn’t have to be.”

Keith shook his head. “That mindset’s the entire problem, especially with adults when they talk to children.”

“Okay.” Breda said, still watching through the door. “Maybe you’re right.”

Keith put his thumb nail in between his teeth and bit down. “Also, and I’m going out on a tiny limb here, but his behavior since I met him….it’s eerie.”

Breda glanced over at Keith for a long moment and then back through the door. “How so?”

“It might be nothing, but he-”

“DAMMIT!”

“What’s he doing?” Falman asked after hearing Ed curse himself, coming to peek as well and seeing Ed kneel down in front of the desk and begin to sob very quietly with his hands still on top of it. “Keith, do you know of anyone who could evaluate him? He seems…”

“Yeah, I will.” Keith pulled a notebook out of his military jacket. “I’d rather that than him have another meltdown and they take him by force. You have to be mentally competent to stay in the military let alone to retain your State Alchemist certification.”

“I’ll talk to him.”

Breda and Falman jumped up and away from the door at the sound of Mustang’s voice before he noticed them peeking into his office.

“Sir.” Keith stepped aside to let the colonel by. “I’ll hold off then and wait for your word.”

“That’s fine.” Mustang pulled his door open. ”Thank you, he’ll be fine.” he said, disappearing into his office and pushing the door shut.

One of the soldiers that’d been holding Ed’s arm yawned. “Okay, that got me. I think I’m gonna go ahead and turn in for the night.”

“Same.” another soldier yelled. “Hey wait, where’s his brother?”

“Oh, Alphonse went to a library across town.” Breda answered, turning to look at Mustang’s door for a long moment. “He said he doesn’t mind missing the party because his stomach was bothering him and he couldn’t eat anyways.”

“Well that’s too bad.” the same soldier said, turning to follow the rest of the people down the hall.

“I really hope they find him some help.” Falman commented next before turning to leave as well, Keith following.

“Wait, Falman.” Breda called him back. “Do you have a mirror I can borrow?”

“A mirror?” Falman frowned. “No, I don’t carry mirrors around with me.” He reached into his pockets and pulled a metal flask out and tossed it to Breda. “That’s reflective so hopefully that’ll work.” he chuckled before walking off.

“Thanks.” Breda called, watching Falman leave the hallway with everyone else, then he turned the flask over and looked in it to see if he was able to see himself. He started rubbing his sleeve on it to remove any fingerprint smudges and making whatever was inside slop around.

“Hnn!”

He heard something that sounded like a muffled shout faintly beyond the door, then moments later he could hear Mustang’s faint voice as well talking for a short ten seconds about something, but he couldn’t make out what he was saying. Breda tried the door as quietly as possible, but as he expected it was locked. He kneeled down and stuck the flask part way under the door to try and get a look inside. He was able to see Ed's and Mustang’s legs in front of his desk; Ed’s were hanging, his pants and boxers around his ankles, preventing him from kicking like he so desperately tried to do. _*What the hell…*_ He pushed the flask in all the way and slanted it more so he can see more upwards, and got a very quick glimpse of Mustang bent over Ed on the desk. “Oh my God!” Breda dropped the flask into the room and fell backwards. He clamped his hands over his mouth when he realized he’d yelled that a little too loud. _*What the hell…what in the hell?*_ Breda pulled the flask back out and then dropped it on the carpet and backed up against the wall behind him. “I have to save him.” he mumbled out loud. “I-” he paused, looking down at the three stripes and one star pinned to the shoulders of his military jacket and thinking about the four-stripped three-starred ones Mustang had. _*But Mustang is a colonel…*_

“Breda what are you doing?”

“Oh!” Breda jumped up, startled by Fuery’s voice. “I, uh…” he bent over and picked up the flask that he’d left on the floor by accident. “I dropped this so I was picking it up. I borrowed it from Falman.”

“Oh, okay.” Fuery gestured for him to come on. “Let’s go back. Mustang said he was gonna talk to Ed to see what was wrong and then he said he’d be back.”

“Y-yeah. Fine.” Breda stuffed the flask in his own jacket then looked up at Mustang’s door. “Oh man…” he sighed, putting his knuckles on the door and fighting back a pained expression. “……forgive me, Ed.” he said quietly before turning to go back to the party with Fuery.

._._._._._._._._._._.

“Well this went by really fast.” Fuery pouted, plopping down on Ed’s bed and being scolded by him for messing it up. “I thought it'd feel like it lasted a _little_ longer than it did, you know? I guess it’s true what they say about having fun.”

“Yeah.” Al sighed, closing his briefcase. “There’s no reason why we can’t keep in better contact though. And our train doesn’t leave for another hour or two so we still have a little time.”

“Well mine leaves very soon so I should actually be on my way to the station but I’m fine catching a late one.”

Falman walked into the room next, holding up two envelopes. “Oh, that’s great news!”

“What is?” Ed asked.

“You guys said your trains don’t leave for a while, right?” Falman held envelopes out towards Ed and Fuery because they were closer and gave a nervous sigh when Ed turned his head and ignored the gesture. “I have to leave right now actually but I forgot to give this to Mustang yesterday. It’s business so I wanted to wait until the party was over but I kinda got too drunk and forgot.”

“We’ll take them for you.” Al leaned over and grabbed them from Falman who’d stepped in briefly to pass them over. “Where is he?”

“In his old office, maybe. He kinda keeps an office here and at central nowadays so it’s his _new_ old office I guess. I don’t know exactly where he is but he’s most likely there.”

“That’s fine.” Al waved the envelopes to gesture that it was no problem.

“Okay. Thanks.” Falman straightened his jacket. “See you guys. Ed send me pictures of your kids okay? Don’t be such a stranger this time.”

“Yeah.” Ed nodded, then smiled at him. “See you again.”

Falman nodded, then disappeared into the hallway.

“Well, Al.” Fuery spoke up afterwards. “I’m probably gonna be late anyways, but one of the girls at the party wanted to talk to Al.”

“Oh wow.” Ed rolled his eyes in annoyance. “Really?”

“You’re just jealous.” Al joked. “But I probably shouldn’t. I don’t think Mei would like that very much.”

“Well Mei isn’t _technically_ your girlfriend, right?” Fuery joked. “Just go say hi, and introduce me because she has this sister that I like.”

“Oh.” Al shook his head. “So you’re using me?”

“Kinda.” Fuery grabbed Al’s arm and tugged him towards the door. “If I can just get her number then I can call her when I get home and everything.”

“Uh…” Al tossed the envelopes over to Ed who moved over to dodge them. “Can you take care of that for me?”

“I don’t want-”

“Pleeease?” Al begged, still being pulled by Fuery. “Just do that so I can help him. You know he’s too nervous to talk to that girl on his own.”

Ed picked up the envelopes quietly and shuffled them around to look at both of them individually. “Fine.”

“Thanks. I’ll be back.” Al left, leaving the room door wide open, Fuery still tugging on him yelling “Thank you, thank you!” all the way around the corner.

Ed stood up as soon as they left and slipped on his brown trench coat, deciding to go and slip the envelopes under the door so he won’t have to go in and talk to him. He left out too and closed the room door, then walked with a fast pace down the various hallways, squinting to see into the darkened building thanks to the various curtains that were drawn over every single window, possibly to keep the heat from the sun out. He kept his pace until he got to Mustang’s door. He crouched down to slip the envelopes in like he’d anticipated, but noticed that the lights in the office weren’t on. Even though he didn’t want to, something on the inside of him was pulling him towards the room, and he stood and knocked, then turned the handle and pushed the door open a bit once he got no answer as he expected. He held his breath and peeked in, confirming that no one was in there. Then he flicked the light switch on and walked in.

It wasn’t too different from before. The desks that were always in the middle of the room were scooted over a little more to the other side of the room and the two couches and the coffee table were more centered.

“…okay.” Ed swallowed and put his hand on his chest to try and slow his heart rate, wanting to leave but for some reason being unable to. He walked over to the front of Mustang’s desk and tossed the envelopes on top of the mess of papers that were scattered up there. He looked out of the window behind the desk, being consoled by the view, then he put his hands on top of the desk and gasped a bit when he felt no dents. He moved the papers and blue mat out of the way to look for them and noticed that they were completely gone. Something that he initially thought would’ve made him happy but actually ended up hurting a bit.

“That desk was older than you, I had it replaced because it was falling apart on me.”

Ed dropped the papers and looked over his shoulder to see Mustang closing the door behind him. He put his hand back on his chest, his entire body shaking now. “There’s…some mail Falman had for you. I was just bringing it.”

“Thank you.” Mustang walked over to the desk, making Ed back away from it. He picked up the envelopes and gave them a quick look, then sat them back down and walked over to the couches. “Those reports were one and two months late but at least he turn them in at the same time.” he mumbled, sitting down on his own couch and then glancing up at Ed who was focusing on him. “Weird seeing me not in my chair?”

Ed nodded.

“Well it’s _my_ office. I do sit here too sometimes.” Mustang rearranged some of the things that were on the coffee table after noticing that it looked a little sloppy, then he sighed and sat back in the couch. He rested his elbow on the arm of the couch and rested his head on his fist. He spread his knees apart a little, then stared back up at Ed who looked away instantly. “Come here.”

Ed turned away some more and stuck the hand that wasn’t over his chest in his jacket pocket. “………no.”

Mustang pursed his lips for a second, then he reached into his jacket to grab his gloves, making sure Ed saw them the next time he glanced over.

“That doesn’t scare me anymore.” Ed put his other hand in his other pocket and tightened his fists. “I’m not that little boy you tortured for five years. I’m not the child that had nothing except my brother and the military. You don’t have control.”

Mustang paused halfway into slipping the second glove on for a second, then chuckled under his breath while pulling it down the rest of the way. “Is that so?”

Ed looked at Mustang from the corner of his eyes, his heart rate slowing back down to normal.

“You seemed pretty fixated on the desk a moment ago, hoping to see the one from before. If _I’m_ not controlling you, certainly _something_ is.”

Ed stepped back over to the front of the desk. “I lost a piece of myself right here in this spot when I was eleven thanks to you. After a long time I realized that I can do without it, and it’s hard to do that but it’s doable. But when I’m right here I connect with it and it feels good and hurts at the same time. A big part of that piece was in that desk, but I can still feel it when I’m standing here. That’s all.”

“I always wondered why you would lay there.”

“…the day I beat that Father guy and I got Al back was the day I promised myself that it’d be the last day you _ever_ …I promised myself that I’d never step foot in this office or the one in central ever again if it meant...”

“But you’re here _now_.” Mustang rubbed his fingers together, making tiny crackling sounds from the static electricity. “You two left so suddenly."

“Why wouldn’t I?” Ed asked, his heard rate speeding up again now but this time out of anger, then once again it slowed down.

“And you didn’t call, it was always through Al that we got updates on how you were doing-”

“As soon as Al was strong enough to walk I took him and we left.”

Mustang nodded, still rubbing his fingers together. “Judging by how much you have to say to me, you’ve been wanting to confront me for some time, no?”

Ed dug his nails into his palms and scrunched his face up hard. “And once we got home, I did some research. I wanted to gather some investigators up so we could expose that research facility you always threatened me with and have it shut down once and for all.”

Mustang paused again and a small smirk grew on his face. “And what did you find?” he asked in a smug tone.

“It didn’t exist.”

Mustang laughed to himself under his breath again and went back to rubbing his fingers. “Is that so?” he asked again.

“Neither did the prison.” Ed turned and looked Mustang directly in his eyes, not being afraid to do so anymore. “So much energy was spent having to look you in the face during business hours and pretend you weren’t a monster, not telling Al or Winry or anyone a thing for fear of his life and because it was so…only to find out…” Ed waited for a second; his voice was becoming shaky from the well up of emotions. Then he spoke again, only in a more hushed tone. “I have a three and four year old. Every day I get to wake up and see them worrying about nothing but playing and learning like a child is supposed to and knowing that they are safe, and they save me a little more each day with that. I promised them that I’d never let them go through what you put me through.”

“You can’t watch them their entire lives. Almost everyone goes through some trial eventually.”

“I know.” Ed turned around and kicked the front of Mustang’s desk hard, leaving a scuff mark similar to the ones that would appear when he was younger. “That’s one of my worst fears. The difference between you and me is that I’m not going to deliberately create that trial for them and then turn around and leave it up to them to pick up the pieces.”

Mustang looked down at the scuff mark, then back up at Ed and snickered. “Good for you.”

Ed rubbed the bottom of his boot on the scuff mark next and scraped the middle of it off, then turned without saying anything else and walked over to the door.

“What ever happened with that lemon tree you used to always go on and on about to yourself?”

Ed pulled the door open and then stood there. “I burned it down.” he replied. “All I wanted was to see that tree again. But once Al and I got home and I got to see it every day, all it did was remind me of everything you did in as deep a level of detail as you can get. So I poured fuel on it, lit it on fire, and I stood there and watched it burn completely away. Even the roots. Then I scattered the soot until I could no longer see it.”

“And that’s not control?”

Ed clutched the door tighter. “…goodbye.” he mumbled, ignoring the general’s question on purpose before closing the door gently and then starting down the hall, putting his hands in his pockets again. He closed his eyes and sighed with the relief of a metaphorical lifted weight.

“Hey, Ed?”

Ed opened his eyes and turned around to see Breda coming up the hall behind him. “Hey." He stopped and turned around. “I thought you left already?”

“I ended up being placed here for a few more days on duty so I have to stay a little longer.”

Ed gave a smug look. “A-hah.” he teased.

“Be quiet.” Breda laughed, then his expression turned serious again. “You just came out of Mustang’s office?”

“Yeah.” Ed looked over at one of the windows whose curtain wasn’t closed entirely like the rest, enabling him see just a little out into the yard and street. “Falman asked me to take some mail to him.”

Breda sighed, glancing behind him then back at Ed. “Are you okay?”

“Yes.” Ed frowned. “I’m fine. I’ve _been_ fine.”

“No.” Breda shook his head.

“Okay?” Ed laughed deceivingly.

“…you remember Keith? The one who was here for a short while when you were younger, before he was transferred to one of the international stations?”

“The Monolith Alchemist? Yeah. We were actually going to stop and visit him and Sheska once we left here.” Ed waited for Breda to say something, but Breda himself waited for a long time before speaking again.

“You know what kind of nurse he was before he left, right?”

“Yes.” Ed frowned some more. “Why?”

“…do you know why he quit?”

“He wanted to become a State Alchemist. He’s really good at transmuting stone hence the name.” Ed looked up at Breda again and saw that he was giving him a pitiful look. “Don’t look at me like that.” he said, turning away.

“…a little before _you_ became a State Alchemist, while he was still a nurse, he ended up being put in charge of a boy who was around the same age you were when you became a State Alchemist. He was brought in off the streets for blindly attacking anyone for what seemed like illogical reasons, and he wouldn’t let anyone touch him. After a while and a lot of counseling he _seemed_ like he was ‘all better’ but deep inside his subconscious he was still so disturbed by whatever happened to him that he ended up committing suicide. Keith blamed himself and he couldn’t bring himself to go back to work as a nurse. So he started studying alchemy.”

“That’s sad.” Ed looked down at his feet, then back out of the window. “He never mentioned that.”

“That’s the thing.” Breda swallowed. “Once he met you, your mannerisms during the times when you’d panic randomly reminded him of that little boy, so he used his military status to dig into the boys history. He was worried about you.”

“I reminded him of that boy?” Ed looked at Breda yet again, this time with a slightly worried expression. Then his breathing became labored and he took a step back. “What are you…”

“That little boy had a disturbed uncle who was also in the ward years before. Somehow he was deemed fit to return to society, and was allowed to keep the little boy for a few years after his parents went missing. Well, sometimes he would lock himself and the boy in the basement of his house so none of the neighbors could hear and he’d-”

“Al and I have to leave. Our train is leaving soon.” Ed turned away quickly and started power walking away from Breda.

“Ed.”

“N-nm.” Ed shook his head hard while squeezing his eyes shut, walking quicker but being jerked to a stop when he almost tripped over his automail foot, his ponytail falling over to the front of one of his shoulders, his teeth visible. “N-mn.”

“Ed I saw it.”

Ed’s breath caught in his throat and he gawked at the floor, his eyes wide. He started hyperventilating through his teeth, hissing loudly and trying to fight back the strong emotion. He felt the room start to lean to the side and he fell into the curtain of the window he was looking out of.

“……I saw it-”

“Don’t.” Ed pulled his hands out of his pockets and covered his face with them. “Don’t do this to me!”

“Ed.” Breda walked up to him a little closer.

“Don’t tell me that I suffered all of those years because someone close to me knew and didn’t do anything! Don’t you do this to me!”

“I didn’t know for sure until you were fourteen.” Breda looked to the side painfully. “I didn’t know what to do. He was a colonel. I didn’t know what to do. The best I knew to do was to try to keep you from his office during certain hours, and I went home sick to my stomach every time you were made to stay after hours…I get what that mock gift from that day was about now. Keith speculated it first, but he wasn’t sure. And he himself was only ranked as a major and was Mustang’s direct subordinate like you were.” He waited for a minute to see if Ed would react anymore, then continued. “I would’ve never said those horrible things to you if I knew-”

“No one’s supposed to know.” Ed covered his ears. He crouched down under the window and put his head between his knees. “It’s all messed up. No one is supposed to know. No one’s supposed to know about it.”

“Ed, it wasn’t your fault.”

“You shut up!” Ed screamed, ducking his head more to keep his face hidden. “Just shut up about it!”

Breda went and kneeled next to him, putting a hand on his back. “You know, last time I did this you left the entire front side of my body bruised for four days.” he joked, then he rubbed his hand up and down over Ed’s back when he heard him start to break down. “There’s nothing to be ashamed of…forgive me.”

Ed shook his head some more, wiping his face with his sleeve and then standing back up to get away from Breda touching him. “…does Al know?”

“No.”

“Did anything happen to _him_? Even though he was in the armor?”

“No.”

“Are you telling me the truth?”

“Yes…”

Ed nodded, then looked down the hall when he noticed movement and saw the general standing there with a sort of condescending look on his face. He turned his head away in disgust.

Breda looked up at Ed, then behind him when he noticed that Ed was staring down the hall and saw Mustang as well. He jumped to his feet and stood at attention, a growing sense of worry coming over him.

Mustang raised his eyebrows. “The file cabinets in my office need to be emptied and the files rearranged in the new filing system order that Fuhrer Grumman issued last week.”

“Yes sir.” Breda saluted Mustang, then patted Ed on the shoulder before hurrying off past Mustang into his office. “You’re gonna make me do all of this work by myself, general?” he laughed in a friendly tone before turning into the doorway.

Ed looked back over in that direction, seeing Mustang still standing there staring at him with the same patronizing look, his lips pursed to try and hide his smug smile.

“…you can handle it, right?” Mustang called back to Breda in the same friendly tone before breaking his stare, going into his office, and shutting the door.

Ed slowly shook his head, his face completely expressionless. “Unbelievable.”

“Hey, Brother!”

Ed looked in the other direction to see Al running up behind him.

“Come on! You’re not even finished packing…what’s wrong?”

Ed shook his head again, turning and walking back towards the dorm room with Al. “Nothing.”

“Okay.” Al smiled. “Fuery’s attempt sort of blew up in his face. Apparently both of the girls wanted me, but I turned them both down.”

Ed snickered. “That poor soul.”

“Oh and Winry called. She said your son transmuted the couch into ashes but doesn’t know how to turn it back into a couch.”

“…dammit.” Ed sighed hard, making Al laugh. “Oh well…we should get Sheska something too instead of only bringing her mother a gift. And Keith…let’s get him something big.”

“Okay.” Al smiled, putting his arm around his brother. “See, _that’s_ how you’re supposed to act when you haven’t visited a person in years.”


End file.
